I’ve been managing engineers for over twenty years, which mostly means I’ve had twenty years to get things wrong and occasionally learn from it. Along the way I’ve collected a short list of things managers should do, a longer list of things they shouldn’t, and one piece of advice that underpins the lot.

Let’s start with the shouldn’ts, because they’re more fun.

Don’t manage the metrics

Somewhere out there is a manager staring at a dashboard of story points, cycle times and lines of code, convinced they’re managing. They’re not. They’re watching numbers while their team quietly works out how to make the numbers look good. Metrics madness produces exactly one thing reliably: people optimising for the metric instead of the outcome. Working software is the primary measure of progress. Everything else is commentary.

Don’t hide bad news

Hiding bad news is always, without exception, the worst thing you can do. It doesn’t go away. It compounds, like interest, except the currency is trust and you’re the one going bankrupt. Tell people early, tell them plainly, and give them a chance to help. I’ve never once regretted delivering bad news promptly. I have regretted every delay.

Don’t let the loudest voice win

Every meeting has a Lion and a Mouse. The Lion talks first, talks most, and talks over. The Mouse, often the newest person, the most junior, or someone from an underrepresented group, sits on an idea that might be the best one in the room. If you let volume decide, you get the Lion’s idea every time and you’ll never know what you missed. Speak last. Invite the quiet ones in directly. Keep the Lion fed but caged.

Don’t micromanage

If you hired clever people and then tell them exactly how to do their jobs, you’ve paid a specialist’s salary for a typist’s output. Push decisions down to where the information lives. When someone comes to you for permission, ask them what they’d do. Then, most of the time, say “sounds good”. People who say “I intend to…” rather than “may I?” are thinking. That’s what you wanted, remember?

Don’t be ruinously empathetic

This one catches out the nice managers. Caring about someone but never challenging them feels kind. It isn’t. It’s letting them walk around with spinach in their teeth for years because you didn’t want an awkward moment. If you care about people, tell them the truth about their work. Specifically, privately, and quickly. Feedback withheld out of kindness is just failure delivered later.

Right then. On to the shoulds.

Do start with people

Every decision, every proposal, every fire that needs fighting: start by asking how it lands on the humans involved. Not because it’s fluffy. Because it works. People who feel safe, valued and trusted do better work, stay longer, and tell you the truth. Every time I’ve seen this ignored, the bill arrived eventually, with interest.

Do ask the question

My favourite tool costs nothing and fits in one sentence: “What problem are you trying to solve?” It’s astonishing how often the honest answer is “I’m not sure” or, worse, “one we don’t actually have”. Ask it before starting work, before buying tools, before reorganising anything. It cuts through noise like nothing else I’ve found.

Do make yourself available

Early in my career a manager told me: “I work for you. My job is to make sure you can do your job.” It rewired my brain. Your team doesn’t exist to serve you; it’s the other way round. And availability is not a perk. It is the job. The quiet message, “just checking in, no agenda, are you doing OK?”, opens more doors than any formal process ever will.

Do get out of the way

My entire management philosophy in two points: make sure your people have everything they need, then get out of the way. That’s it. The hard part is the discipline to actually do the second bit when every instinct says to hover.

Do manage the pressure, not the people

Pressure isn’t the enemy. Thoughtfully managed, it’s how people grow. Unmanaged, it’s how they burn out. Your job is translator: turn business demands into something the team can act on, and turn the team’s reality into something the business can hear. Transparency in both directions makes hard situations manageable. Silence makes them toxic.

The one that matters

Here’s the advice I give every aspiring leader, and it’s the only bit of this article worth remembering:

Don’t focus on being a good manager. Be a good person.

Everything above is downstream of that. The frameworks help, the books help (and I’ll happily bore you about them in the comments), but if you show up as someone who is honest, who cares, and who tells the truth kindly, most of management sorts itself out.

And if you’re doing the opposite of everything in this article and it’s working for you, do let me know. I’ll want to study you. From a safe distance.

What would you add? What have I got wrong? Push back in the comments. I’d be disappointed if nobody did.

or What Are They Really Asking?

Some of the mentoring I’ve been doing recently (via the amazing Women Coding Community in this instance) has including interview preparation and mock interviews. Old hands at this game will consider this old news, but I thought this worth the effort of writing about. If it helps just one person do a little better at just one interview, I consider it to be a success. So the truth is:

The question probably has a hidden meaning

Or to put it another way: they’re often looking for insight into how you’re going to fit into their business/culture, and/or how you’re going to add value to the team. The hiring manager will be asking him/herself the fit & value questions right through the process, and most of the questions – even the innocent-sounding ones – give you the opportunity to demonstrate why you’d be the best candidate.

Let’s have a look at a couple of examples:

“Why do you think you’d be an ideal hire into this role?”

At least this one is worded honestly with straightforward intent, unlike the following one!

Take a moment and re-phrase the question in your mind. It’s not about why you would love the job and how happy it would make you to be working on your dream projects.

What they’re really asking is “What special experience, ability or aptitude do you bring? Explain how and why you’re going to perform really well here“. That’s the question you need to address. Your answer should be tailored to showing the value you bring, the pain you will relieve. So let’s think about how.

• Be specific.
• Cite examples of similar work you’ve done, and what you learned.
• If there’s some aspect of the role that excites you, by all means mention it, but back it up with a value statement: “I love crafting code for IoT devices, I’ve invented and deployed my own solar-powered hygrometer for my herb garden“.
• Be contextual; if it’s an in-office role, mention how you love the idea-exchange that happens there, how you enjoy helping others solve problems. Likewise for hybrid or remote – drop in a statement about how well you function, and how.

“Tell me about yourself”

Yes, as cringe-worthy as this one is, it’s still in common use.

Pause. What are they really asking? Spoiler alert: they don’t care about you, and don’t really want to know anything about you other than how you’re going to help them. So, to re-phrase:

“Tell me how you’re going to make my life easier, get product shipped faster, improve quality metrics, increase revenue, lower costs, innovate effectively, raise morale and make the coffee taste better“. (delete as appropriate). It’s not about you! It’s about them.

It’s not about you!

“I’m married with two children, two cats and a goldfish, and I love to play golf” answers the question but does you no favours at all, and will very quickly have your CV dropped into the NFA pile.

So, rather than answering the asked question, answer the hidden one. Explain how your love of inventing and integrating IoT gadgets is going to grow their product range cheaply and quickly; how your contagiously cheerful communication style will improve team collaboration, and so on.

Don’t obsess that you didn’t actually answer they question they asked you! If they are genuinely interested in you as a person, they may ask a follow-up question about hobbies or pets. Feel free to answer these honestly and with authentic passion.

What they’re looking for

I could go on with more examples, but they all follow the same pattern: the question masks their intent to discover the value you’ll bring.

Remember, right through the interview process: they are evaluating what YOU can offer THEM. Be sure to align your answers accordingly. Do your research ahead of time. Make sure you know what you future team looks like, and what problems they likely face. While remaining honest and authentic, lean towards those problems as you answer the hidden questions. This is a great chance to show that you can address their big headaches, which massively improves your chances of moving forward to the next round… or to a job offer.

Rule of Thumb:

Nearly every interview question has a hidden agenda or subtext. Think for a moment before answering, and be sure to address that underlying query.

Part of the Recruiting, Onboarding and Retaining People series

So you found the perfect candidate, negotiated a package and now you’re tapping your foot waiting out the eight weeks of mandated notice period. Stop obsessing over how stressful this is for you. Put yourself in the shoes of that shiny new (almost) starter. What are they feeling right now?

They’re excited. Probably relieved that they made it through the gauntlet and have secured their next role. They’ve already started mentally and culturally disconnecting from whatever they were doing. With the best will in the world, the most dedicated, ethical employee, once they’ve handed in that resignation notice, will find that the landscape has shifted and priorities and allegiances started re-aligning. Re-allegieng?

This is a dangerous period. A few things could happen:

Cold Feet

The reality sets in: “I’m really leaving this place”.

“What the hell am I doing? I’ve been here ages, I know everyone and what they do. It took me ages to get this competent. Do I really want to start all over again?”

Fear of the unknown can be a powerful internal voice. It’s a natural, human reaction. Don’t ignore it. Address it.

Counter-Offers

All too common, despite extensive and repeated research which has shown that once an employee has resigned, counter-offers only work as a short-term fix.

Despite their ineffectiveness, they happen so often that it’s likely your chosen candidate will have to deal with this.

Hoping it won’t happen doesn’t help. Hope is not a management strategy. Prepare for this.

Poaching

It’s happened to all of us: a week before the start date, you get the call.

“Sorry XYZ-Corp just made me a better offer, so I’m going there instead.”

Despite probably having already signed a contract with you, the candidate remains at high risk until they actually start work.

So what can we do about it?

The prescription for all three of these diseases is the same: interactive, ongoing engagement. From the day they said “Yes” through to their first day in role (and beyond, but that’s another story for another day), all sorts of worrisome internal dialogues are happening within your new recruit’s mind. External factors (counter-offers and poaching), peer pressure from their colleagues once the news is out there, and so on, add to this noise.

That exciting, sticky engagement won’t happen by itself. It’s hard work and you need a plan. In fact, you might need a few plans to deal with differing lengths of notice periods.

It helps to think in terms of The Engineering Question ™: “What problem am I trying to solve?”. An answer might look like “I need my chosen candidate to continue feeling that this is the right role.”

Sample plan for an eight-week notice period:

Have two targeted, impactful contact-points every week. One of these will be a live conversation with the hiring manager.

If there are any social events planned for the period, don’t forget to invite the new recruit and (gently) encourage attendance. If there aren’t any planned events… maybe this is a good time to plan some!

Day One:

Hiring manager: Send (in the post – remember the posr?) a hand-written congratulations card, re-iterating why you’re excited to start working with them.

Week One:

Hiring manager: phone the candidate for a chat. Have a list of talking-points to hand, a good mix of company news, team news and personal-touch stuff. Start getting to know the candidate as a person. Start building a relationship. Get to know each other. Learn about their life, interests, family, pets, whatever!

Week Two:

Hiring manager: phone the candidate for a chat. Introduce the new starter’s nominated onboarding buddy (who should send the first bio as per below), and set up a comms channel for them to start chattting.

Hiring manager: email a photo of the team they’ll be working in, with visible names. Explain what each person does and how the new recruit will be interacting with them.

Weeks Three to Seven:

Hiring manager: phone the candidate for a chat.

Hiring manager: email a summary of what the team’s been doing recently, and mention something they’ve celebrated.

Team member: email a Bio. Have a little fun with this. Be a bit quirky!

Final Week:

Hiring manager: phone the candidate for a chat. Walk through what day one and week one will look like. Be very specific about first-day processes. Pre-empt as many questions as you can, so that your new recruit is better equipped to have a relaxed experience. Where to go, how to get there, where to park, what time to arrive, who to ask for at reception, dress code (does anybody still have these?), and so on. Don’t forget to explain what people normally do for lunch; should they brown-bag it? Follow this up with an email detailing it all. Your new starter may be feeling timid and not wanting to ask “stupid” questions. So answer them first.

Email a group video of the team. If it’s an office environment, have a short virtual walk-through to the new starter’s desk. Introduce anybody you meet along the way. Explain what’s been (or is being) prepared for them: workspace, laptop, etc. Send the clear message that you’re excited to have them start and can’t wait to begin working with them.

In Summary

If you put the effort into actively engaging your new recruit, it’ll pay off. Not just in terms of reducing sign-to-hire attrition, but also with having a much more team-integrated starter who already has relationships with the people around them. Just imagine how much more at home and relaxed they’re going to feel. It’s priceless, and well worth the up-front effort.

Let’s call it what it is: Depression. I’m depressed. AND THAT’S OK. I’M ALLOWED. Now I have to deal with it. I don’t have to “get better”, “suck it up”, “stop feeling sorry for myself”, “cheer up” or “snap out of it”. I do have to acknowledge the fact that I’m depressed, and figure out how to function as a whole person and a professional while I work my way out of it.

I guess in a way I’m fortunate that I’ve previously survived life-threateningly-severe depression. Fortunate? Yes. Blessed, even. Because the experience and recovery equipped me with the tools and techniques I can now use to manage when life throws me a curve-ball. One of these tools is “naming the beast”, like I’ve done here. It’s depression. And I know how to put that beast back in his cage. It never gets any easier, but I do get better at it. Things are a little less scary once you can name them. (You don’t have to publicly shout about it, this is just me sharing)

If you’re having a bad day too: that’s OK. You’re allowed. And you’re not alone.

Sound familiar? What is wrong with these people?

Imagine working in an organisation where everybody neatly fits into the imagined shape of their roles. Or worse, one where every single person brings exactly the same skill-set, background and life-experience? Not only would this be boring on an epic scale, it’s counter-productive.

Picture this: company X is losing an important staff member Kim (and all staff are important, right?). They’ve drawn up a job description exactly around what Kim does. Fair enough. But they then go on to screen and interview based on whether they feel candidates will “fit” the shape of the empty space on the jigsaw puzzle. This is the wrong question to ask!

We shouldn’t be asking ourselves if candidates will “fit” into our culture. Assuming they do fit, what have you gained? Yet another boilerplate employee stamped out of the company mold? Is that what you need? (If your answer is “yes”, you can probably stop reading now)

Wouldn’t you rather hire somebody who adds to the tapestry of your workplace? Somebody who challenges the status quo, helps the business discover better ways of doing things? If you have the perfect candidate in front of you, in terms of skills, experience, and so on, but are worried that they’ll not quite match the shape of the hole in the jigsaw… then maybe the pieces around the hole might need to change shape? Shock! Horror! Right?

If you don’t view every new hire as an opportunity to grow and evolve the way your organisation operates and deals with people (yes: people, not resources), you’re missing a bet.

As a side note: did Kim leave because they became frustrated at the inflexible “culture” they were forced to conform to? It’s worth looking into, even if the reasons given seem valid.

So I ask you, assuming you lead a team of people: what’s your role? How do you see yourself, relative to that team?

My personal management philosophy is really just a two-legged affair:

1. Make sure the team has everything they need.
2. Get out of the way.

Of course, there’s a lot more to effective management than this gross oversimplification. But you get the idea. Making sure they have everything they need is where the servant role comes in. Getting out of the way applies not just to me personally, but to my responsibility to keep the rest of the business out of the way, too.

Who directly produces the stuff that you sell?

Who’s important?

Let’s put aside organisation-structure trees, job titles and salary ranges for the moment. Which people truly add the most value to your business? Who directly produces the stuff that you sell (whether it’s a product, a service, whatever)? Who directly interacts with your client-base, takes orders, collects revenue, and so on? I’m not diminishing the importance of all the other supporting roles, without which the company couldn’t function – just saying that they are supporting roles. Their function is to support the value-generators. And this includes the entire management structure. I’d suggest that in an imaginary engineering company, the value-generators are:

• Engineers!
• The support and/or implementation teams
• The sales team

Everybody else exists only to feed these folks what they need to ensure the value keeps flowing. Up to and including the CEO. As the leader of a technical team myself, I don’t directly generate any value. I don’t discover requirements. I don’t write code. I don’t find defects. Those are the activities that ultimately create a product we can sell. I don’t do any of them. That’s why I have a team of technical specialists (the direct value-generators). My job is to make sure they can do those important things. Likewise, my boss’s job is to make sure I’m able to do my job effectively, and so on.

In a large retail store, the value generators might be:

• Customer-facing staff: till operators, shop-floor workers, service-desk folks, etc.
• Shelf-packers
• Cleaners

You get the idea? The important people are the ones who generate value. If you’re not one of those folks, then your only function is to do everything possible to enable them.

Wait a second! The shelf-packers are more important than the store’s General Manager?

Yes. And everyone above that manager. Absolutely.

Again, I’m not slighting the management structure or other folks. HR, Finance, Training, IT, Contracts, Legal, Marketing, Project Management, Facilities, Payroll, Regulatory, and so on, are all essential for the smooth running of the business. I don’t challenge that. I do challenge the alignment of some of them, in some organisations, at some times. The focus of the engineers in my team is not to mindlessly do my bidding and make me happy. Quite the reverse. I’m not here to tell them what to do and how to do it. I’m here to make sure they can do it. As happily and effectively as possible. I work for them.

What?

Is that a bit of a radical proposal? I didn’t think it was, until quite recently when I was trying to explain this to someone… the explainee exclaimed “Wait, what? You work for them? Nonsense! They work for you.” This made me think that maybe my outlook is not the norm.

Yes, I’m still an authority figure. I hire (and sadly, occasionally have to fire) people. I mentor and coach and address behavioural issues. I guide and advise. I offer developmental steering. I make sure we stay on track, and help course-correct when we’re drifting. Ultimately, I’m responsible for my team’s performance (and the buck stops with me), and I’m not advocating namby-pamby new-age transcendental management-by-smiling. There will always be people and/or situations where a firm hand is what’s called for, no avoiding that. I lead. But primarily, I serve.

Outside of the direct value-generation centers, the same applies. As a leader, your role should focus on ensuring your team is able to execute its role. You’ve got other stuff going on too, I get that. You need to prepare up-line reports, get tax returns submitted, negotiate with vendors, manage inter-team expectations and communications, formulate long-term plans and road-maps, write press-releases, and so on. But where’s the focus?

The entire business should be lined up behind the value-generators

Back to the value-generators: if there’s any relevance to what I’ve written here, then surely it follows that the entire business should be lined up behind these people, with the sole aim of helping them? Now take a look around any organisation you please, and ask yourself if that’s the reality. I can think of a couple off-hand where it clearly isn’t. What’s your experience been?

Now ask yourself: Where’s the alignment?

If the primary aim of your company is to make and sell widgets, is every single functional area aligned behind that? If one of them isn’t… you’re getting in the way. If your IS/IT policies make it difficult for the widget-creators to create widgets… that’s getting in the way. If you put the focus on accurate estimates, timelines and plans, rather than getting on with creating and selling widgets, you’re getting in the way. If your expense-claim process is overly complex, that’s getting in the way. If you’re shackling your workforce with metrics madness, that’s getting in the way. If you’re not nurturing and constantly improving a culture where everyone loves coming to work every day, you’re getting in the way. If you’re not appreciating them as people rather than as revenue-generating units, that’s getting in the way. Get out of the way.

There are two threads here, really. Firstly, that necessarily, leaders are servants. Secondly, that the entire business should be aligned behind the direct value-generating folks.

Why not add personal one-on-one coaching for your managers, supervisors and leaders? Your people will truly appreciate the genuine value this brings.

All staff in charge of others – supervisors, leads, managers, etc. – and those on the path to such roles have 1:1 access to a personal coach, paid for by the business. This coach is there to help you navigate the complexities of leadership, and help you discover the best ways of dealing with the business world. The coach works for YOU, with your best interests at heart, and is always in your corner. It’s kinda nice, knowing that somebody’s got your back, no matter what.

How powerful is that?

This sends a really strong message that you absolutely care about the wellbeing of the humans in your business, and that you’re committed to a happy and healthy (and therefore highly productive) workplace.

What an awsome way to demonstrate that you genuinely care for their wellbeing and mental health!

Want to know more about how we can build a coaching package around your people, their needs and your budget? Click below and let’s talk.

Once upon a time, there was a wise man, much like Eiseley himself, who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer, he called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”

“I guess I should have asked, Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?”

“The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”

“But young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!”

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves. “It made a difference for that one!”

We’re not trying to change the whole world. But if we can make a difference in your corner of it, we’re winning.

pembi.net

I’ve often witnessed statements in daily Scrums/stand-ups, along the lines of:

• I might…
• I’m working on…
• I’ll try…
• Still busy with…

And while I’m sure they’re all true, and the motivation is good, this is all very passive and open-ended. There’s no commitment. Yes, I’m sure you fully intend to work hard and do a good job. And you’ll probably deliver as you thought. But you didn’t say that. You talked about what you would be doing, not what would be done. The difference is subtle, but powerful. I’m reminded of Kennedy’s Rice Stadium moon speech. Feel free to pause here while you go and read that manuscript. Seriously. I’ll wait. It’s a great read. Now consider the language used. JFK never once said “try”, “attempt” or “might”. He instead uses “will” and “shall”:

…we shall send to the moon…
PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY, 12 September 1962, Rice University Stadium

But he didn’t just say what would be done, he put a time-box around it!

…and it will be done before the end of this decade.

PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY, 12 September 1962, Rice University Stadium

And so they did. Seven years later, Americans walked on the moon. Did they get there because Kennedy said “we will” instead of “we’ll try”? No, of course not. They got there through an unimaginably humongous amount of incredibly difficult work, diligence and discipline. Not to mention the industrial and financial support of an entire super-power. But all of this was backed by the will. We will. Done deal. Now let’s figure out the details. NOT “let’s see if this is possible”. Declare it to be so, then work to make it happen. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

Start with the win

Think about what you are saying and how it sets you up for the day. What’s the expectation? Where’s the will?

• I will…
• I shall…
• I intend to…

And if you’re tempted to argue “but I’m busy with something that’s going to take two weeks!” then re-frame that. You’re only working on one aspect at a time, right? That’s the bit you commit to. “I’ll get the widget-rotation component finished today”.

If you state in your morning stand-up that you’re “working on”, or “continuing with”, or even “trying to”, you’ve given yourself no actual goal. Words have power. Even (especially?) when they’re self-targeted words. By saying “I will publish the first draft of the new CI/CD process today”, you’ve set yourself up to do just that. It will settle in the front of your mind and help keep you focused. Move the focus from what you’re doing to what will be done.

I can already hear the naysayers… “But what if I fail? Everyone will remember that I promised something and didn’t deliver it…”, and yes, that’s true. They’ll also remember that you’re a human too, just like them, and things don’t always work out as planned. It’s also possible that by carefully phrasing things more specifically, you’re more likely to make positive progress every day. I will. No question. Of course I will. Now I’m going to figure out how.

The magical power of the word isn’t bound to agile development ceremonies. Try it out on your next DIY project. Instead of “I’m going to start redecorating the spare room”, set yourself up for success with “Today I will clear the furniture out of the spare room, dispose of what we’re not keeping, wash the walls and vacuum the carpet”.

One of the common challenges to leaders is ensuring that everybody has a voice.

Think back to a group situation where a question was asked, and almost everybody in the room turned to look at you. This is one of those times where silence is golden. Perhaps more important is when you have input, or a strong opinion, and want to share it: likewise keep your mouth shut. Don’t worry, the silence won’t last long. Somebody will speak up. Congratulations. You’ve just enabled an opinion you might otherwise never have heard.

Foster this as a habit. And see if you can spot an opportunity to coach the practice into others – for example, if you notice that Jill is always the first one to jump in, consider inviting her to join you in silence until the discussion is underway.

Now that we’ve got the two loudest voices – the Lions – quietened down, maybe have a look around your team and identify the Mouse. Most teams have one, and it’s often a new or junior colleague. He or she will sit quietly in the meeting, nodding along, and seldom contribute unless asked a direct question. So ask a direct question. This needn’t be scary or difficult, and can be a great opportunity to be more inclusive:

• “Pierre, you’re quite new to the team and I wondered if you had a fresh perspective to offer on this? We’ve all been doing this so long we might not see the obvious.“
• “Paula, how did your previous team approach problems like this? Are we missing something?“

Other strategies you can use to ensure everyone has a voice include gamification, particularly effective in ceremonies like the Scrum Retro, for example:

• Rather than the “what went well, what didn’t go well, blah blah blah” session, try the One Word Game:
  • Ask everybody to write down a single word describing their feelings about the Sprint
  • If you’ve never done this before, people will mutter and mumble – ask them to trust you
  • Every person writes ONE WORD on a Trello card, PostIt Note, whatever, and puts it up on the board without saying anything
  • Ensure that every single person has done this
  • Invite the team to add other single words, on seperate cards/notes, until they’ve captured their thoughts
  • Here’s the sneaky bit: pick a word off the board, ask who wrote it, then ask them to explain it
  • Capture the narrative, move on to the next word
  • Once you’re gone through the board, you could now move back to the more traditional grouping things together, establishing common themes, etc.
  • Pat yourself on the back – you’ve just ensured everyone on the team has a voice, and you’ve done it in a playful, non-threatening manner.

Leaders who immediately seek to join conversations (or worse: own them) are unknowingly (I’ll be charitable and assume it’s unknowingly) imposing their will on the team. And they’re losing a tremendous amount of value when they do that. They may well be the most intelligent, most experienced person in the room, but they’re not omniscient, and they are (perhaps more than others) susceptible to being over-confident that they have all the answers.

Speak softly, speak last. You might learn something.